Somebody, herb me please!

Image created by author

Guys guys, I’m in deep shit.. Where do I even start from… you forget.. Just hear read me out..

I’d initially thought 30 cedis per gram was a bit of a ripoff since I’m used to getting much larger portions for less. But yes, that was prior to this encounter. I’d learned from a reliable source that it was of high quality and I have no problem spending on a product that’s worth its price.

I met with the dealer or whoever the courier person was, got the package, paid and parted ways.. all with no more than ten words exchanged between us. The meet-up had this mafia-drug-exchange aura about it and I played along just fine, which only intensified the craving for me. I just couldn’t wait to get home and get down to it.

So after finishing up my rounds, I got home late, took a cold shower and unfurled the package. The herb was quite fresh, as it was slightly moist and had a thick, almost fruity aroma to it. I rolled up four slim but decent joints around midnight, put a movie on, and lit the first joint.

The high hit me within seconds of the first toke. I should’ve taken proper note of this and paced myself, but I took series of long tokes, going through a full roll within a short span of time. The fruity aroma it had to it was very enticing. I lit a second blunt.

Big mistake!

Within five minutes I’d begun to sway on the spot, and my coordination skills were already fucked up. My right foot started twitching and I started sweating but in a good way, if that makes sense.

The high was nothing like the slow, sleepy, mellow, giggly highs I get from the Indicas I’m used to. This was more of a cerebral high. The kind of high people who seek out-of-body experiences or who want to “access the cosmic database” go for. That astral projection type of shit. I mean, I could see myself standing beside myself getting higher than a Presec boy’s WASSCE grades.

I sat crossed-legged on my bed staring into space, rapidly processing concepts of being and the general intendment of existence, jumping from thought to thought in no particular pattern and telling myself that reality as we I know it, is illusory.

If werewolves do howl at the moon, then how do werewolves on Jupiter know which moon to howl at, since it has 62 moons?

If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, then does that line become the hypotenuse if a third point is introduced at a right angle?

Had Harry Potter died anytime before the battle of Hogwarts, would he have come back to life because he had two souls in him- Voldemort’s and his?

The thoughts kept flitting through my mind and I felt euphoric. The world was lit! I could feel all my pent-up stress waning, slowly oozing out and away through the pores of my skin.

I didn’t exactly sleep, but kept slipping in and out of consciousness. At a point I had a lucid dream, in full HD, about catching a Pokemon but being trapped in the pokeball myself. And I think my pillow kept throwing corny remarks at me amidst all this.

I “woke up”, so to speak, around 3:10 am  paranoid as shit. Unfortunately this panic overtook everything else, and soon all I felt was terror. I imagined the worst possible thing that could happen in that moment and guess what? It actually happened – My mom came knocking on the door asking to be let in.

At this point I wasn’t sure if the weed was so loud, she’d smelt it from the other side of the apartment and had come to  my room to investigate, or if I’d subconsciously “summoned” her by concentrating so hard on how awful it would be if she caught me. I’m supposed to be her baby girl after all.

Wait. Why is weed said to be “loud” if we only be smelling it.

Anyway, I refused to let her in and spent the next couple of minutes a nervous wreck, bargaining with God and with any other benevolent entities that were watching, to help me out. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might pop and I had no desire to eat at all – I was going through a reverse-munchies experience, if that’s a thing.

That was when I realized my mum had travelled and I had the whole place to myself for about a week more until she returned.

So who was now banging on the door outside? I was confused and my paranoia didn’t help at all. In my state of discomfiture, I got out of my room and walked through the living hall area, making a quick stop at the kitchen to pick a knife. I tentatively opened the door.

This young lady rushed in with a bewildered expression on her face, imploring me to lock the door, her hand clutching her stomach area. She was bleeding profusely and she tried to keep pressure on the wound with both hands. She just lay down on the tiled floor of the hall area, creating a small pool of blood by her. I tried to help her but she refused any assistance until I locked the door.

I rushed to the door, turning the key just once in knob, locking it anyway. At this point, my paranoia was on a full-blown scale. I was stuck in a loop of continuous panicking. I tried to do something about all the blood. I tried. She died a few moments later and I didn’t know how to react.

The silence was deafening.

I zoned out. Thinking about life and existence again. A relapse of high! I was however jarred to reality by another knock on the door. I was horrified now. I stayed still, pretending no one was in.

In my panicked state, I realized the stab probably wasn’t self-inflicted and whoever had done it would probably still be after her. I cringed when it hit me that the outside of the door would be smeared with blood, confirming that the room wasn’t vacant.

On cue, I heard tinkling and saw the key shaft of the door knob slowly being turned. The lock was being picked, and picked it was.

If you’re reading this, I’m hiding under my bed and I’m still high as fuck.

I don’t think the intruder is looking for me. He probably thinks the dead woman entered by herself and locked herself in.

Guys… I’m sending this message to this group not knowing how this will end. Maybe he doesn’t know there’s another girl in

theapart

ment

No no no no no he’s entered my room.

Oh shit. I can see the intruder’s boots.

They’re dirty and mud-caked.

No no no no no no no

Help!!!

He’s walking towards the bedhsjsvakxbx sjsmatskava xqvabag vahbdagggg gggggg

Sent 4:20 am

Lol. Ignore the message she sent earlier.

Sent 4:26 am

*I sent.

I’m hallucinating.

Sent 4:27 am



10 thoughts on “Somebody, herb me please!”

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *